Happy Birthday, Sensei!
by nobiki
Summary: Naruto pulls a series of pranks on Iruka's birthday with Kakashi's help. Rated T for language. Oneshot.


Happy Birthday, Sensei 

Naruto woke early that day, earlier than usual, but no earlier than usual on this one day. He leaned over to kiss his wife, brushing her dark hair from her face. Her eyes opened sleepily, glassy white orbs staring up at him. He felt his breath catch but pushed it aside; he had too much to do today to linger. "Are you leaving now?" she asked softly. He nodded, whispering, "I won't be back until very late, but you know where to find me." Between them, a toddler stirred, then sunk back into sleep, breathing noisily. He dressed quickly, all in black. Carefully rolling his sleeves up a bit, he slipped through a window and ran down the wall.

Kakashi was waiting on the top of the cliff. It was too dark to read, and his bones ached a bit, but he still came to meet Naruto up here, every year, on this day. Rain or shine. He felt the figure approach only seconds before Naruto appeared. At least the kid gave him some warning this time, he chuckled to himself, remembering how he'd almost fallen one year in surprise. Naruto was tall now, taller than Kakashi, so the older man looked up to greet him. And laughed. Naturo had hidden his hair under a black bandana and peered at his sensei through black sunglasses, a wide grin on his face. Kakashi whooped some more, pointing. "Sensei, you do this every year," Naruto began, a grin on his face. "But, you look, so so..." Kakashi couldn't even finish his sentence. "I'll have you know I'm an elite jounin instructor, so you should listen to me!" Naruto posed dramatically, pushing his glasses up for emphasis. "You're a sick, sick bastard, kid," Kakashi gasped, his body still shaking. "Don't ever change."

They worked quickly, using only brown paint. The first few years, Naruto had reproduced his own graffiti on the faces of the village's leaders, but he had settled on a more realistic approach. He and Kakashi quickly painted one long line across each face. Kakashi grinned as he worked, chuckling each time he caught sight of Naruto dressed as Ebisu, defacing Konoha's most visible monument. Paint stashed, the two men made their way across the village to admire their work as the sun came up. Five faces stared unseeing across the valley, each one's face split by a thin scar running nearly cheekbone to cheekbone over the nose. Naruto sighed, satisfied.

Kakashi found the sight unnerving but appropriate, dredging up memories of the young teacher. Naruto sat on the roof next to him and nodded. Kakashi shrugged, grinning, and handed Naruto his well-worn book. Naruto opened it and began to read, out loud. Soon, Kakashi was shaking with laughter again, silently this time, so he wouldn't miss a word. Naruto read the suggestive story, dramatically, along with a running commentary directed at the Five Hokages and the man they were painted to resemble. Kakashi could almost hear the long-dead voice, exploding with anger at Naruto's actions, lecturing them both. "Naruto-kun," Kakashi would say every few minutes, getting louder and louder, angrier and angrier. "No, wait, sensei, here's the good part - 'She screamed his name into the night sky as he...' I thought you taught sex was a natural act, sensei, how come you had such a problem with these books?" Naruto nudged the man next to him, whispering, "You're supposed to blush now." Kakashi shook his head, still chuckling. "I'm blushing on the inside," he shrugged as an answer. Handing the book back, Naruto stood up. "I'm gonna go clean his apartment. Wanna meet up at the school in a few hours?" Kakashi nodded. "Don't be too late or I'll start without you," Naruto warned, and Kakashi nodded again, then jumped down lightly to start his own day.

Naruto worked quickly, washing the walls, sweeping and polishing the wood floors. It really wasn't that dirty - Naruto came here often, using the space as a personal refuge. He gently dusted the photographs, remembering the face of the man he missed most of all. The one who taught him to trust other people, to open himself up to friendship, and who treated him like he really mattered. Who loved him and protected him no matter the cost. And, in the end, when the Kyuubi and Naruto were locked in a bitter battle for control, the one who sacrificed himself to remind Naruto of his friends and shinobi family, his responsibility to his village. The Kyuubi's final victim. Naruto brushed his eyes, shaking himself mentally. No, today was a celebration, not a funeral. He replaced the photograph on the table and locked the door of the tiny apartment behind him.

The sun was high overhead when Naruto reached the school. Kakashi was waiting on the roof as he had promised. "You're late," he began. "I got lost," the younger man replied with a grin. "Liar." Naruto sniggered and shrugged. "Are you ready?" Kakashi nodded. "Henge!" The puffs of smoke parted and two similar men stood, staring at each other. "Your hair is wrong," one complained to the other, "You look like Shikamaru with a scar." The other man shrugged, "He was your sensei, not mine," but he tried again. Naruto nodded, now they looked identical. "Okay, classes should be out in about an hour. Let's make this count." Each man took a different part of the building and their reign of prank-terror began. No teacher was safe, no blackboard immune. Kakashi stood in the yard, watching the children practice throwing techniques. Except each kunai thrown would suddenly veer wildly off-target, not unheard of, then make a beeline for the teacher before suddenly transforming into something soft, which was a little odd. Kakashi preferred dandelions, they were very messy. Naruto, inside a classroom, was standing behind a teacher making rude faces while he lectured the children on chakra paths. When their giggles became too much, the teacher would whip around to see nothing. Naruto did this several times before allowing the poor man to catch a glimpse of an unknown chunin who promptly disappeared.

Kakashi and Naruto met up near the bridge, back in their own forms. They could still hear the shouts from the children as they ran from the school, excitedly sharing their stories. "You're a bad influence on the children of Konoha," Kakashi said, trying again to channel another teacher's voice. "Ah, stuff it! You're the one who was zooming kunai directly AT a teacher." Kakashi broke off, nodding helplessly. "Did you see him jump? Every time." Naruto laughed, "I think he's going to have a permanent twitch now." "Or an irrational fear of dandelions." They stood together, looking over the river. "I'm starving!" Naruto announced, "Let's eat lunch." Kakashi shook his head, "Nah, I think I'm going to go cause some more trouble." "Mission office?" Kakashi nodded. "You could come?" "Nah, you go on. You're better at masking chakra anyway. If they caught scent of me there, I wouldn't be able to get away later." "How's this?" Kakashi transformed, then subtly fuzzed his own chakra to become something different. Naruto's eyes widened, "Impressive. I almost couldn't tell the difference. Sensei, you're really back!" Laughing, he threw his arms around Kakashi, pushing the man down against the hard bridge. Then, just as suddenly, he was on his feet while Kakashi looked at him, growling. "Perfect, now you look just like him. Just remember to be polite." Naruto took off for the village center, still in disguise, while Kakashi struggled to his feet. "I'm an old man," he sputtered at Naruto's back, "You should treat me better!" A single wave, or perhaps a rude gesture, it was hard to tell at this distance, was the only response he got. Shaking his head again, he headed toward the mission office. He couldn't stay there long - he really didn't want to get caught impersonating a dead man with ANBU just down the hall.

He stepped quickly through the doorway, switching on the light. They didn't use this room anymore, so it was a little dusty. Brushing aside some papers, he sat down and pretended to work. People walked down the hall, peeking in. Kakashi would smile and wave, recognizing a few faces. So many new faces, he thought, and nobody recognized him, or rather, Iruka, anymore. Eventually, though, they would talk to some who might, mentioning the quiet man with the scar working in an empty room. Kakashi yawned and stretched. It was late afternoon. He had time to go home and shower, maybe take a nap. "Iruka-sensei?" A man stood at the doorway, shock apparent on his face. Kakashi waved and sat down, holding out his hand. "Do you have your mission report ready?" he asked politely. Genma walked into the room slowly, his face now angry. "Whoever you are, this isn't funny." "If your report isn't finished yet, you can finish it now." He jabbed a finger at a nearby desk and went back to sorting papers. Genma was in the middle of the room now, hands clenched into fists. Kakashi could feel the other man's probing chakra, and hoped his disguise would hold. He decided to go on attack and came from behind the desk to stand in front of Genma. "I can't wait all day. Be sure to hand it in as soon as you're done, okay?" He reached a hand out to clap Genma lightly on the shoulder as he'd seen Iruka do many times before. Genma flinched, whirling to catch Kakashi by both arms so they were face to face. He stared hard, his expression a mixture of grief and joy. His hands caught Kakashi's jaw, fingers tracing the scar across his face again and again. Kakashi tried and failed to reproduce the signature blush of his fallen comrade, opting instead to break gently from Genma's grasp. "I'm meeting Naruto for ramen tonight. Why don't you join us?" Genma grinned at that, relaxing completely. "Why not now?" he asked. "Naruto defaced the Hokages. Again." Kakashi shrugged and left the room. Genma decided to leave through the window, anxious to see this year's handiwork.

Naruto sat silently on the swing near the schoolyard in the twilight, his bandana and sunglasses discarded. He remembered sitting here, so sad and invisible, a long time ago. Occasionally he would wave to people as they left for home. Parents wondered who the blonde shinobi was, and sometimes a few would do a double-take, seeming to recognize him, then shaking their heads. No, it couldn't be him, they seemed to realize. Why would he be here, playing with children? He liked to spend afternoons here as often as he could. He wanted to know the children, their names, their families, their hopes. No one wants to feel ignored and left out, it's too painful to grow up that way. He turned to a figure in the shadows. "Time to go?" "Hnn." They walked slowly, admiring the cliffs as long as they could see them. The paint would be washed off tonight, the last thing Naruto did before he returned home. "Anything exciting?" "Scared the shit out of Genma." Naruto sighed, "I guess not many people remember him anymore." "You do." And that was enough.

They hailed the staff at the ramen shop as old friends and slid onto the stools. The one on the end was empty and would stay that way. That's where Iruka usually sat. Genma slid in next to them, grunting hello, Iwashi next to him. "Where's Anko?" Naruto asked, surprised. "Still away," Genma sighed, "She hoped she would be back in time. Good thing, though, I thought I was having a stroke this afternoon when I saw you." Naruto chuckled, "Wasn't me," and jerked his thumb at Kakashi. Genma's eyes widened again, then he smiled. "Good thing I didn't hug you, then, huh?" Kakashi grunted, shuddering. "Hug me, hell. The way you were pawing me, I was afraid you were going to kiss me." "Woulda served you right if I had," Genma countered. "But I knew it wasn't really him. You couldn't fake a blush to save your life." The group laughed at that, agreeing with Genma. They slurped their noodles, chatting softly. An untouched bowl sat in Iruka's spot.

"One last toast, then?" Naruto asked when they were done. Cups held aloft, Naruto grinned. "Happy Birthday, Iruka-sensei!" They drank their sake and got up to leave, Naruto pulling Genma into a hug Kakashi had unknowingly denied him. Genma's grief was doubly hard, Naruto knew. Raido had died soon after Iruka, and Shizune soon after that. "Don't cry on Iruka's birthday, he wouldn't like that," Naruto said gently and Genma nodded wordlessly into his shoulder. "Great job on the cliffs," he said finally, his voice controlled. Iwashi slung his arm around his friend and promised to see him home.

"Are you going to carry on like this when I die?" Kakashi asked tersely. He didn't know if he felt touched or annoyed by Naruto's annual celebration. "Nah," the man answered, "I think for you it'll have to be more random. Painting masks on the cliffs just doesn't really say 'Kakashi-sensei' to me. And it would scare small children." They walked back to the cliffs to start the clean-up. Kakashi had dropped his collar by now; there wasn't anyone out to see his face, and he admitted it got a little hard to breathe these days. "Like what?" Naruto rubbed his chin. "Annual Be-Fucking-Late-For-Everything Day?" Kakashi chuckled. "How about, Lame-Ass-Excuse Day?" "Hey, those were all very good excuses!" "Oh, sorry, forgive me, of course they were," Naruto rolled his eyes and grinned again. "Lying Bastard Day? Wear-a-Freaky-Mask Day? Scary Eyeball Day?" Kakashi was howling all over again, clutching Naruto's sleeve helplessly so he could keep up. Naruto stopped walking, slapping his hand against his head. "Of course! Annual Read-Porn-in-Public Day!" Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, I think I could go for that. Although I don't think the Hokage would be allowed to read porn in public." Naruto smirked his answer. "Watch 'em try and stop me."

-----

in memory of my dad on his birthday. miss you, papa.


End file.
